Motherisms

Whether they are praising us or scolding us, Moms always have a quotable one-liner waiting to let us know exactly what they think. While it’s always a good idea to take Mom seriously while she’s saying it, we can’t help but look back and laugh sometimes.

Here are a few of our favorite Motherisms.



Top 10 All-Time

•“If everyone else jumped off a cliff, would you do it too?”
•“It’s all fun and games until someone pokes an eye out.”
•“You’d forget your head if it wasn’t screwed on.”
•“Elbows off the table.”
•“Don't talk with your mouth full.”
•“Clean up your room, it looks like a tornado hit.”
•“Do you think I was born yesterday?”
•"Is that too much to ask?"
•“Why? Because I said so, that's why!”
•“Money doesn’t grow on trees!”

Health & Hygiene

•“Don’t put that in your mouth.”
•“Have you brushed your teeth yet today?”
•“Did you put on clean underwear? What will people think if you’re in an accident?”
•“Wash behind your ears—I can see carrots growing back there.”
•“Stand up straight, you're hunching over.”
•“Don’t forget your jacket.”
•“Don’t don't run with scissors.”

Eating

•“Eat your vegetables.”
•“Take smaller bites.”
•“Finish your meal—there are children starving in [fill in the name of an impoverished country]!”
•Just scrape off the burnt part, it's still good."
•“Would you eat like that on a first date?”
•What girl is going to want to watch you eat like that?"
•What boy is going to want to watch you eat like that?"

New Clothes and Hand-Me-Downs

•“You’ll grow into them.”
•“They’ll shrink.”
•“Just roll up the sleeves a bit.”
•“We’ll get those trousers altered.”
•“Some thick socks will make those shoes fit.”
•“Wear your new shoes to school. Keep your old shoes for the back yard.”

Running Away

•“Don’t worry, I’ll pack up the rest of your things and send them to your new address.”
•" I'll pack your clothes and send them to you later."

Lost and Found

•“Don’t worry, I’ll pack up the rest of your things and send them to your new address.”
•" I'll pack your clothes and send them to you later."

Discipline

•“Look at me when I'm talking to you!”
•“Don't use that tone with me.”
•“Don’t make me come in there.”
•"I'm coming in there right now!!”
•“Don’t make me come in there again!”
•“Who do you think you are?”
•“Just wait until your father gets home.”
•“Stop fighting or I’ll turn this car right around.”


Rules

•“I don’t care what [name of best friend]’s parents say, in our house you follow our rules.”
•“If you don’t like the rules, then there’s the door!”
•“We can talk about the rules when you start paying rent.”
•"While you're living here, you'll dance to my music."

Cleverness

•"I wasn't born yesterday, you know."
•“You think you’re so clever…”
•"You always think you know better than everyone else."
•"I bet you think you're so smart."


The Guilt Trip

•“Would it hurt to call once in a while?”
•“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be alright.”
•“Do you feel good about yourself now?”
•"Are you proud of yourself?"
•“Is it too much to ask for a few kind words?”
•“Am I asking so much?”
•“I went through labor, and you can't even do this one little thing?”
•“I never made my Mother cry.”

When You Really Deserve It

•“I’ll give you something to cry about”
•“I’m the one who brought you here, don’t think I can’t take you out.”

The Ultimate Insult

•“I hope someday you have children just like you.”

Subtle (and not-so-subtle) Reminders

•“Am I talking to a brick wall? Pay attention!”
•“What would you do if I were'nt here?”
•“M is for Mom, not for Maid.”
•“It looks like a pigsty in here!”
•“Were you born in a barn? Clean up that mess.”
•“Close that door, are you growing a tail?”
•“Turn off the light when you leave the room.”
•“If you finish up the toilet paper, please change the roll.”

Sage Advice

•“Act your age, you're not two years old anymore.”
•“Slow down. You’ve got your whole life to be a grown up.”
•"You'll be an adult forever, what's your hurry?"
•“Don’t forget to stop and smell the flowers.”
•"Give folks their flowers while they're living."
•“Happiness is a journey, not a destination.”
•"Happiness is a direction, not a place."
•“You call that a broken heart? You’ve got a lot of living to do.”
•"You think that's heartache? Just keep on living."
•“If it doesn’t kill you, it’ll make you stronger.”
•“If you keep making that face, it’s going to freeze that way.”
•“Sticks and stone may break your bones, but names will never hurt you.”
•“Measure twice, cut once.”
•“Hang in there.”
•“If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.”
•“Don’t bother—I just got back from where you’re headed.”
•"I've been where you're trying to go."
•“I suppose you’ll do what you want anyway.”
•Upon asking her opinion: "Do what you want. You will anyway."

Sex

•“Don’t go out and make me a grandmother!”

When Baby Bird Leaves the Nest

•“Do I look like an ATM?”
•And who do you think is going to pay for that?"

Anytime, Anyplace

•“Give your mom a hug.”
•“No matter what, I’ll always love you.”
•"Just remember, I love you no matter what."


Oooops, We Forgot One!

•“Don't believe everything you hear."






Mom...and you thought it was going to be a mushy blog;) I LOVE YOU!!! HAPPY MOM'S DAY!!!!!!!

Comments

Donna said…
I NEFFER said ...SOME of this...well maybe...
I'm Not admitting NUFFIN!Hahahaa
This was fun Babydoll...and PLEASE remember to use these lines on Your Babies...Most of them DO actually, work!Hahaa
I love you...
((((HUG))))
mammy
~Shelly~ said…
LOVE IT! Happy mommies day!
Paula said…
Welp, I think mine and yours were in the same class at Motherhood University! *LOL*
Great blog, Crystal, I came over to visit from your Mom's blog. (Of all places! *hehe*)
Happy Mother's Day to you!
Donna said…
Hahaha, I bet your Mom used most of them at one time or another. Or all in one day!!!
Jenny said…
LOL lots of those sound familiar!

I always said to my kids:

"You don't know what anyone else is thinking so don't act like you do."

"Play your game to the best of your ability and don't worry about what everyone else is doing."

"You're bought and paid for."

And one my mother always said to me, and I tell my kids to this very day:

"You get what you give."

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY, CRYSTAL!
Dawn said…
I know my mom used EVERYONE on me !! :) Happy Mother's Day !! :)
Sally said…
LOL!! Love these!

My mom's favorite line (when I was in trouble and pretended I had fainted)

"Get off the floor, Sally, I know you're not dead!"

Happy Mother's Day, Crystal! Hope you get spoiled rotten!! (((hugs)))
CityMom2 said…
Crystal!
You must have spent days on this comprehensive list.

Goes to show you and Mom were BOTH paying attention - even if you don't want to admit it.
Have a glorious day.
Citymom
JunieRose2005 said…
I loved this, Crystal!! I love watching yours and your mom's special relationship thru your blogs (and hers too)!! :) Lotta love comes thru!!


Big hugs))

Junie
Crystal said…
Thank you ladies! I had fun getting this list together for mom! She's one special lady that needed a good laugh!!!!

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