Another year I'll gladly take

Well what a week already it's been. Sam's tryouts for HOT Sweethearts were last night and we had so much fun. Sam and her best friend, Kari, tried out and made a big to do about getting ready, doing their hair, screaming how nervous they both were but boy how they could eat something. I took them to McDonalds (short on time) and it was like I took them to the finest steak house in town, lol! And only for 12 dollars, heck yeah.

We all got there and as we are walking in I tell Sam i'm dropping them where they need to be and that i'll be back shortly. I needed to run and errand. She, all bugged eyed, turns back to me like I've done lost my mind there is no place more important than with me at this very moment how dare you suggest such a thing and I couldn't help but snicker at her.

I leave, and run over to the local Verizon. Sam has been wanting an iPhone since the 8th grade. And since the 8th grade, I've always told her no. Well, I checked and they had a super deal on them as long as you had an upgrade on your phone. Well, I love my phone and have had an upgrade available to me for months now, which is a first, that I haven't used. I traded with her. I gave her mine and got her the phone and as i'm paying for it the service rep informs me that he has just turned her old phone off and turned on the new one he's holding in his hands. I bust out (literally) laughing and doing a mini happy dance because I just know Sam is freaking out with her phone not working. Talk about EXCITED. It was like I had just planned the ultimate thing ever and couldn't WAIT to see her reaction. Good OR bad I was in it FOR the drama, lol!!

I was so excited I raced right back to her and Kari's tryouts and RUN in! I sit there with Kari's mom and we talk about the girls and about the competition and next thing you know here Sam comes walking out. Albeit, a little green and looking like shes either going to puke, pass out or scream I walk up to her and just rub her back. I give her a moment to collect herself and then she says that she doesn't think she will make it or that she did very well. She wasn't given a chance to give a full answer because 1: they were all timed, only given a limited amount of time to speak and 2: they were in groups of three with one girl in Sam's group over speaking and using a lot of the time up for the whole group. I didn't say too much and she said that she could finish her meal that she left out in the car. So, off we go.

I had placed Sams new phone in my purse. man was I smooth. When she went to text or call and couldn't she would just be hell on wheels and I would be eating it up just waiting for when I pulled it out and she REALLY freaked.....

Ain't quite how it happened....You see, I never get a surprise right. Too much into the moment and how exciting it'll all turn out I just don't think it all through...How you ask? Like hiding the damn Verizon bag....We open the car doors at the same time and as we sit down she brings the Verizon bag up out of her seat and warily places it in the back seat as I just screamed at the top of my lungs, "AH MAN!!!!" As she gets huge eyes now knowing I got her something as I reached in my purse and brought out the phone as SHE starts screaming at the top of HER lungs, in my ear as she chokes me with the best hug I ever got from her, lol! After she pulled away and we were both laughing she holds the phone up to her face telling the PHONE how longs she's wanted it and that she loved it and then turns to me in the next breath, throwing herself at me while yelling thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!!!!

Well, in the end, it wasn't what I intended but I was ecstatic at how it turned out and we grinned and joked all the way through her eating and petting her new phone and then went back in to see how Kari was doing. We get back, wait about 20 minutes and she comes out looking like she was going to hurl as well but ended up pulling it together and cheesing while we all took the girls pictures and left. On the way home Kari rode back with us and Sam stated that she knew she didn't get picked. That she was disappointed in how she did because she just wasn't given the chance to speak but she thought Kari did well based on what all she told us and that she would support her and be very happy for her getting it. AND, that she can just wear a sign to school the next morning stating NO, I didn't make it on the front of her shirt and on the back it would say, SO...keep moving please. Lol!! We laughed so hard at that one and I told both girls whatever happened was how it was suppose to turn out and that they would be their for each other no matter what. THEN they could go to 3 Spoons after and have their "cry" over frozen yogurt yumminess. They liked that idea very much.

So, when the names of the girls who made it were read, Sam's prediction came to be correct. She didn't make it and Kari did. I listened on the radio and as soon as the list was complete automatically called Tim to see how Sam was. She was such a trooper! I was shocked at how she was handling it that I didn't say too much for fear she OR I would bust out crying. I hadn't been too into really thinking about her trying out and if she would win or lose. BUT...when it's coming down to the wire and you're waiting patiently to find out you can't help but start building your own anxiety FOR her.

After hanging up with her I was just stunned speechless. I just sat there thinking of what Sam said on the phone and that it was ok. Not the Sam that didn't just get what she wanted and threw a fit and turned all pissy and everyone and anyone was the enemy because she didn't get what she wanted. I sat there and wiped tears away because she didn't do any of those things by not getting picked.

A little while later she texts me "the list" of names that made it confirming that she didn't and I felt so helpless FOR her. I didn't care if she made it or not. The thing was I didn't like seeing her think she failed at something when she didn't at all. She tried the best she could with what she was given and I can't be anymore proud of her than that. Oh the disappointments of life and how they affect us..

She went to school and later on told me that her and her friends have cried over it but she text me that her day was getting better which in turn made me feel just the tiniest more better too. Seeing as how it's her Birthday today as well it hit me harder than I thought it would. But again. that's life. We all have to live through disappointments throughout life. Some falling on days that are special to us or just the average one that we're trying to get through. Sam's 17 now and I still can't believe it. Doesn't matter though. She can be 17, 60 or just a day old...i'll always be here. Always wishing her the best. Always hoping she never fails or falls but always knowing that through out it all, both good and bad, that i'll love her through it...