Planting Seeds
Well, been a few days since I was last on here. Some days I can write and it just flows and then some I can't even figure out the first sentence. Not to say I don't have a million thoughts buzzing around though. That's me.
Today is my mom's birthday. I went over after getting off work to say it in person when she hands me a book and says it's a must read. It's called " The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. Normally I read Science fiction/fantasy but with mom saying that the first few pages grabbed her, I had to see for myself.
The second chapter of page 3 grabbed me. A little quote from the book reads, " Five months after the funeral, (the death of her 24 yr old son) I lifted myself up out a bed. I put on my white uniform and put my little gold cross back around my neck and went to wait on Miss Leefolt cause she just have her baby. But it weren't too long before I seen something in me had changed. A bitter seed was planted inside a me. And I just didn't feel so accepting anymore."
That one paragraph will cause me to keep reading. To see how her "acceptance" has changed. I think we can all say that at one time or another there has been that proverbial seed planted in us to where it has changed something within us. Whether it be our attitude, our way of thinking, looking at situations or people differently and yes, either in a good or bad way. Most plant a negative seed and let's it grow until it festers. That, to me, is bad. How can anything good come from negativity? And I say that but I can look back on the past filled with bad things and still smile. I am happy and think that I have a good life now. So, we'll call it a catch 22 and go on.
I read on Facebook today where someone is going through a very hard time. They've pretty much hit rock bottom unwillingly. The loss of control that was taken away by someone else can and most likely will cause all sorts of negativity to build up. There is those that temporarily grieve and curse the world and sky above but then lift themselves up to take back the control they need to start a new beginning and there are those that dive into the abyss of hitting rock bottom, never to resurface. Trying to pass on the negative seed to as many as possible and drag them down too.
I think we've all had someone that we know or have known that has done this. I chose a few years back not to hang on to any of those relationships. You can actually tell or even feel the weight of it pulling at you and to me, it's not a place I choose to be any longer. Kind of like fighting with people. Yell and scream, name call and belittle. Do it all you want and all you'll ever see or hear of me is the wind as I walk away. I try to, and sometimes fail, to dig up bad seeds when I see or feel that there is one planted in my life. It's harder to do with others though. You have that whole control issue that you're fighting against. You can only work with what is in your own power to change. Nothing more. Some can't deal with even that. They may very well mean well too.
I once lived with a past friend of mine. She had a little boy that was about 4 or 5 then. I could tell that her parenting skills were less than what they should have been. I would find myself taking over that roll or if I couldn't I would ride her butt until I saw the change that needed to be made. First off, I tried planting a positive seed in someone else to be for the better and secondly, I tried to take control of someone else's life. I failed. Looking back I set myself up for failure. She finally told me one day that even though she knew she needed to change things in her life that were bringing her down, it was still her choice. And, even though I didn't agree then, I do now.
Even in parenting our own, there are things we loose control of. Friends, family, whomever. It's just the way of life. If we really did control everything we wanted to, what then? They who are controlled loose something they need for the future. Planting seeds is a tricky thing in my opinion. It'll either help or it won't and then there again, once the seed is planted how often do you water it or do you plant and then turn the caretaking over to them and see what grows? Ah life...
Today is my mom's birthday. I went over after getting off work to say it in person when she hands me a book and says it's a must read. It's called " The Help" by Kathryn Stockett. Normally I read Science fiction/fantasy but with mom saying that the first few pages grabbed her, I had to see for myself.
The second chapter of page 3 grabbed me. A little quote from the book reads, " Five months after the funeral, (the death of her 24 yr old son) I lifted myself up out a bed. I put on my white uniform and put my little gold cross back around my neck and went to wait on Miss Leefolt cause she just have her baby. But it weren't too long before I seen something in me had changed. A bitter seed was planted inside a me. And I just didn't feel so accepting anymore."
That one paragraph will cause me to keep reading. To see how her "acceptance" has changed. I think we can all say that at one time or another there has been that proverbial seed planted in us to where it has changed something within us. Whether it be our attitude, our way of thinking, looking at situations or people differently and yes, either in a good or bad way. Most plant a negative seed and let's it grow until it festers. That, to me, is bad. How can anything good come from negativity? And I say that but I can look back on the past filled with bad things and still smile. I am happy and think that I have a good life now. So, we'll call it a catch 22 and go on.
I read on Facebook today where someone is going through a very hard time. They've pretty much hit rock bottom unwillingly. The loss of control that was taken away by someone else can and most likely will cause all sorts of negativity to build up. There is those that temporarily grieve and curse the world and sky above but then lift themselves up to take back the control they need to start a new beginning and there are those that dive into the abyss of hitting rock bottom, never to resurface. Trying to pass on the negative seed to as many as possible and drag them down too.
I think we've all had someone that we know or have known that has done this. I chose a few years back not to hang on to any of those relationships. You can actually tell or even feel the weight of it pulling at you and to me, it's not a place I choose to be any longer. Kind of like fighting with people. Yell and scream, name call and belittle. Do it all you want and all you'll ever see or hear of me is the wind as I walk away. I try to, and sometimes fail, to dig up bad seeds when I see or feel that there is one planted in my life. It's harder to do with others though. You have that whole control issue that you're fighting against. You can only work with what is in your own power to change. Nothing more. Some can't deal with even that. They may very well mean well too.
I once lived with a past friend of mine. She had a little boy that was about 4 or 5 then. I could tell that her parenting skills were less than what they should have been. I would find myself taking over that roll or if I couldn't I would ride her butt until I saw the change that needed to be made. First off, I tried planting a positive seed in someone else to be for the better and secondly, I tried to take control of someone else's life. I failed. Looking back I set myself up for failure. She finally told me one day that even though she knew she needed to change things in her life that were bringing her down, it was still her choice. And, even though I didn't agree then, I do now.
Even in parenting our own, there are things we loose control of. Friends, family, whomever. It's just the way of life. If we really did control everything we wanted to, what then? They who are controlled loose something they need for the future. Planting seeds is a tricky thing in my opinion. It'll either help or it won't and then there again, once the seed is planted how often do you water it or do you plant and then turn the caretaking over to them and see what grows? Ah life...
Comments
I know to some people I must sound like a negative person, but when people ask how things are going, I tell the truth and girl, even though I know many, many people who have things so much worse, it doesn't negate the fact that the past nearly two years have taken a huge toll on all of us. None of us ever know what it's like in someone else's shoes. About six months aften Ben passed away, a friend of mine commented "you mean Patti is still grieving." I couldn't believe she would say something like that! This is a person who has no children, and can't even begin to comprehend a mother's feelings.
Okay, darn it, I talk too much. See what you do when you post such thought provoking "thoughts". :)
Take care; I hope to see you more here in blogland. You are always interesting! Sometimes, I think about giving it up, but every now and again I post something. I'm sure people who do visit get tired of hearing about Hunter, but you know, they don't have to visit. BWAHAHAHA
Love ya!!