Dealing

Everyone has a certain way of dealing with issues that come up through out their lives. How do you deal with things? Me? I guess like everyone else, it depends on the issue at hand. I've dealt with things in many different ways over the coarse of my almost 37 years here.

Anger being the most common. Something happened that I couldn't deal with and anger would be the little friend that would always be first in line to come out and play. Anger is really the easiest of all the emotions if you think about it. More times than not and since we have little control over the outside world, it is so easy just to get mad than to stop and think how to handle things differently. Happens all the time to everyone.

Example: I'm sitting at work, yes, actually WORKING and Ken gave a phone call to me to handle. I answered like I always do and the gentleman on the other end was inquiring about a bill that he says he didn't owe. I pulled his account up and there were several invoices on the account, all of which were paid except for one that was under 60 dollars. Oh hell, I know what he's going to say before it comes out of his mouth...The tech didn't do anything. Why am I getting charged. And then he states the obvious and I know right then his attitude just took a nose dive.

I let him know that we had tried coming out and doing a service in which he requested. Halfway through the job he pulled us off and went another route on fixing his problem. He stated that he paid what he thought he owed and made us leave. While he was relaying all of this to me I was half paying attention and half thinking how I could handle this customer as not to upset him further and try to calm his nerves...Until he made a comment that I knew would only make things worse. He told me that the guy he talked to told him that I would be able to help him with his problem. I let him know that I could try to help but there were some things I had no authority in making. His reply? You can help me and that is your job...Bloody hell. Here we go.

Technically, he was right. It is my job to help any and everyone that calls. He and I both knew though that what he wanted was to zero his account and after me stating I hadn't the authority, he tried to tell me what my job description was. Oh joy. His anger was rising and he was forgetting any courtesy his upbringing had taught him. Bottom line, I got short but stayed polite. Letting him know that he would be talking to the manager in 2 seconds. Please wait just a moment. Thank you. And passed him onto ken which was not 3 feet away and heard the whole thing. It took Ken less than 3 minutes and he knew he wasn't going to get anywhere either. The customer wasn't listening to reason so there wasn't any point in going in circles. He told the customer that he could either pay the bill or not, it was his decision. He still owed it. Have a nice day.

Needless to say the customer was probably that much more furious but we have a business to run and we aren't under any false pretence that we can please everyone that calls. But, I will tell you that even though I used this as an example of anger I would like to add that there are some out there that even though they explode, cussing the world when things don't fly their way, I'm adding in remorse. About 15 minutes after the phone call the customer called back to apologize for his ugly behavior. He let Ken know that if we kept the bill as is or we credited it, it was Ken's choice and he would deal with it.

Better late than never. Some feel the guilt of their own actions and whether they were initially right or wrong, own their wrongness's in any form. Some don't. Guilt rides high and they sweep it under the rug and move on. Not wanting to own up. Or not even paying attention to what the other guy is dealing with because of the way things ended. There's so many different outcomes to so many emotions. This was just one example.

Joy, sadness, trust, disgust, fear, anger, surprise, anticipation, optimism, love, submission, aggressiveness, disappointment, remorse, contempt, pride, irritation, rage, envy, cheerfulness, shame, sympathy, and on and on and on.....There are so many emotions and I haven't even touched the surface of how many we feel on a regular basis. The point to this post is how we deal with it all. It's not a simple thing like most want to throw up on a whim. Or when they themselves don't know how to deal. We always have to think before we act or react. And that's the problem. More times than not we don't or wait until after the fact or whatever scenario you would like to come up with.

Have you ever just said the words, "I'm fine?" This can help or it can harm. When I know someone is having a bad day or in not too good of a mood I say this. Even if the freakin sky just fell and Armageddon has arrived on my doorstep. I'm fine. The reason I so often say this is because I'm trying to pay attention to the other person and take their feelings into consideration. Now, saying that and doing it are two different things and if I could JUST learn to adapt this way of thinking to my kids sometimes the world around us would sing in great glory.

Is it a good or bad thing that we deal with things by keeping them to ourselves. It's a toss up, in my opinion. And, I guess it depends on the issue. U lie, cheat or steal and saying things are fine when they aren't..I can see the problem. But, if others are troubled, worried, bothered, busy, or whatever, I can see where quietly dealing with your own issues can be a good thing. The other person can figure the issues out and move on, not having more on top of their own to worry about. That's my way of looking at it anyway. But then someone comes and asks, "Who's going to be the one to help you through what you go through?" And that's where my stomach tightens every time.

I think there a number of people out there that either are scared, feel guilt or something else when asking or wanting help with something. For me, I feel like I'm being too needy so I just deal with things myself. It's not that I'm to headstrong or too good. It's weird. I love to help others out and have them figure things out the best they can but when dealing with myself I contradict everything I've just stated. Happens all the damn time and that's just me. Am I just that damn independent that I don't need anyone? Not at all. I'll always have my independence, that's a given. The only way any of us lose it is if we let it go or don't fight for it. I just like to help others in some way and I really don't know why it's so hard to accept it from others. Maybe we'll discuss this again or maybe not, lol;o)

Anyway, there ya go. "Dealing" is hard business and not always fun. People do it, don't do it, wait to do it or let others do it for them. In a world that is complicated enough I think there is a way to simplify things. When I figure that one out I'll letcha know;o)