Protecting ur cubs
I leave work yesterday with a smile on my face because i know I'm going to the daycare William is staying at to pick him up. I swear, this kid is hardly ever in a bad mood and normally sporting a handsome smile. He'll be 11 next month. Loves laughing, being loud, picking on his older sister when he can get away with it and loves his momma.
William had just turned 3 when I became a single parent. Through out the years since then William has mainly been around nothing but women. Seriously. His dad wasn't there in those extremely crucial years to bond with him and I wasn't going to invite someone into our lives just for that reason. I think over all William is a very loving and compassionate person. Doesn't matter that he was raised around women. That's his nature.
Believe me, Will can be a lil spit fire when the occasion arises. He'll stand up for his beliefs or even defend to his best ability. I like to say that he's a guy with feelings. And yes, I think it's a very good thing. But, in some ways it isn't very good when situations come up and he doesn't know how to deal with them.
I picked him up from daycare with him getting into the car looking normal but not. Tim can peg every single time I have something that I'm worrying about and I can do that with Will. I asked him numerous times what was bothering him and all the while he would just gently answer like so many other times, "Nothing.." After the 8Th time of me asking nicely I put some firmness behind it. Telling him that I can't help if I don't know. And as I pulled out of the parking lot he began telling me what was on his mind...and started crying.
As he tells me what happened be begins to "talk cry." You know, that kind of crying you do but you can still talk through it? I told him to settle down and breath. I couldn't understand what he was saying because as he started talking he was speeding up. He took a deep breath, calmed down and went on to tell me that when he got to daycare today he was going to have to write 100 sentences....SSSCCCCRRREEEECCCCHHHHH!!!!!!!!! As I whipped the car around I looked at him and the only thing I said back to him was, " We'll see about that now won't we."
I think my blood was well past boiling and that's the first thing I thought of. So, I tried calming down. Sorry guys but I don't care who it is..my kids, my husband, my parents or anyone else that is dear to me. If they've been slighted in any way I am like a rage blinded crazy lunatic until I or someone else catches me and calms me down enough to see reason. I crack up when thinking about how I sometimes act and remember past situations. I can be a relaxed and happy as they come and then BAM, snarling slobbering fiend gunning for her prey. Lol. Tim once had to calm me down from running out the door and not going to a 15 yr old girl's house that was messing with Sam. It's like you just black out and all thought goes out the window.
Anyway, I calmed down and as we drove back to the daycare I found out that Will and some of the other kids were at a local pizza place (field trip) all sitting around a table and making funny faces at another kid. O-K..so what else did you do to have to sit out AND write 100 sentences?? Did you throw the kid down, beat him up while stealing his pizza???? What?! William just looked at me with tears in his eyes and said that was it. That's all they did, nothing else...I felt my foot push harder on that damn gas pedal....
We get back to the parking lot and William says he doesn't want to go in nor does he want to come back to the daycare. I'm flying out the car and I look back and just tell him to lock the door, this will only take a second...As I walk in to the daycare there is a foyer area that has a window where the owners office is. The manager and the teacher witch that upset my boy saw me coming and met me when I walked into the main door. The nice manager had a troubled smile put on while I glanced at the teacher witch and she was straight faced. But the eyes said it all. U really can read a lot about a person from their eyes and I pegged her to a capital T. There wasn't any remorse. She was ticked for being reprimanded and it ticked her off worse when I walked in knowing that my kid told me how she had handled things. A look like that was telling me that it wouldn't stop after this confrontation either. People like that? They really do make it hard to stay in your "happy place."
I no more looked back at the nice manager when she blurts out that everything is taken care of. William won't be writing any sentences. I smile while saying that's fine and then asked why the sentences? Did he have to sit out? Nice manager states that Will did sit out while teacher witch blurts out that it was just for a minute, not time enough to do any good....I look at witch teacher and ask why then was I not called. I state that the daycare knows that I will be extremely swift in any discipline if it is called for. All I need is a phone call and I am all over it. Poor nice manager at this point is getting a lil more excited in her speaking letting me know why yes, they knew they could have called me and that everything was already taken care of. Bless her sweet lil heart. She did handle things well. No one was irate or crazy. All was still good. Until teacher witch opened her mouth to tell me that, "we don't have your phone number." Oh really????
I cut my eyes at her and I had had enough. I let her know right quick that she sure as hell did have my number and it's been on file for a while now. Plus I just turned in new paper work just that week updating things. I point my finger in her direction asking what she thought the point was for the sentences. The kids were acting up, fine. Kids will be disrespectful when playing around sometimes. Especially 10 yr old boys. Get on their butts, fix it and get on with it. This wasn't some Catholic or Boarding school where we whip out the rulers or write sentences. All poor nice manager could say with a more steady voice is that all was taken care of and she really was sorry for the outcome of the incident. I winked at her while saying it was OK and shot a look to teacher witch asking if "we were clear on things..." She didn't answer back and I didn't expect her to.
I went back out to the car and told Will not to worry about things. He was and it would be eating at him until he went back this morning to see if she would try and single him out and pick on him. I just told him that we would be coming in early in the morning to talk with management again to make sure that didn't happen. Under the circumstance, I thought I handled things pretty well. If it took a second time to straighten things out all bets were off. But, as it turned out we got there this morning to find out that what happened was just the last straw. She had been fired and the other workers were relieved.
As I've always thought, it takes a certain mentality to be in that field. Someone with concern, compassion, kindness and love does well and allows even kids going to a daycare to learn things needed for the future. I know this because there are such "teachers" there at this daycare. But sadly, there's always one bad one in the bunch.
As for Will not wanting to return, I told him that it never fairs well for him if he runs from problems or fears. He needed to go back and face her, do what he's suppose to do and get along to the best of his ability. If things failed on the other parties end that wasn't his fault because he tried. Running is never the answer. I know this all too well. And yes, it takes courage to do something that ur scared of doing. You don't know if it's going to turn out good or the way you want it to so why risk it. Well, risk is always a tricky little thing but on that once in a lifetime chance that it does work out? It changes your whole perception on things. This was a small lesson that hopefully Will will think more on and use as a stepping stone as far as building more self confidence. I hope so anyway;)
William had just turned 3 when I became a single parent. Through out the years since then William has mainly been around nothing but women. Seriously. His dad wasn't there in those extremely crucial years to bond with him and I wasn't going to invite someone into our lives just for that reason. I think over all William is a very loving and compassionate person. Doesn't matter that he was raised around women. That's his nature.
Believe me, Will can be a lil spit fire when the occasion arises. He'll stand up for his beliefs or even defend to his best ability. I like to say that he's a guy with feelings. And yes, I think it's a very good thing. But, in some ways it isn't very good when situations come up and he doesn't know how to deal with them.
I picked him up from daycare with him getting into the car looking normal but not. Tim can peg every single time I have something that I'm worrying about and I can do that with Will. I asked him numerous times what was bothering him and all the while he would just gently answer like so many other times, "Nothing.." After the 8Th time of me asking nicely I put some firmness behind it. Telling him that I can't help if I don't know. And as I pulled out of the parking lot he began telling me what was on his mind...and started crying.
As he tells me what happened be begins to "talk cry." You know, that kind of crying you do but you can still talk through it? I told him to settle down and breath. I couldn't understand what he was saying because as he started talking he was speeding up. He took a deep breath, calmed down and went on to tell me that when he got to daycare today he was going to have to write 100 sentences....SSSCCCCRRREEEECCCCHHHHH!!!!!!!!! As I whipped the car around I looked at him and the only thing I said back to him was, " We'll see about that now won't we."
I think my blood was well past boiling and that's the first thing I thought of. So, I tried calming down. Sorry guys but I don't care who it is..my kids, my husband, my parents or anyone else that is dear to me. If they've been slighted in any way I am like a rage blinded crazy lunatic until I or someone else catches me and calms me down enough to see reason. I crack up when thinking about how I sometimes act and remember past situations. I can be a relaxed and happy as they come and then BAM, snarling slobbering fiend gunning for her prey. Lol. Tim once had to calm me down from running out the door and not going to a 15 yr old girl's house that was messing with Sam. It's like you just black out and all thought goes out the window.
Anyway, I calmed down and as we drove back to the daycare I found out that Will and some of the other kids were at a local pizza place (field trip) all sitting around a table and making funny faces at another kid. O-K..so what else did you do to have to sit out AND write 100 sentences?? Did you throw the kid down, beat him up while stealing his pizza???? What?! William just looked at me with tears in his eyes and said that was it. That's all they did, nothing else...I felt my foot push harder on that damn gas pedal....
We get back to the parking lot and William says he doesn't want to go in nor does he want to come back to the daycare. I'm flying out the car and I look back and just tell him to lock the door, this will only take a second...As I walk in to the daycare there is a foyer area that has a window where the owners office is. The manager and the teacher witch that upset my boy saw me coming and met me when I walked into the main door. The nice manager had a troubled smile put on while I glanced at the teacher witch and she was straight faced. But the eyes said it all. U really can read a lot about a person from their eyes and I pegged her to a capital T. There wasn't any remorse. She was ticked for being reprimanded and it ticked her off worse when I walked in knowing that my kid told me how she had handled things. A look like that was telling me that it wouldn't stop after this confrontation either. People like that? They really do make it hard to stay in your "happy place."
I no more looked back at the nice manager when she blurts out that everything is taken care of. William won't be writing any sentences. I smile while saying that's fine and then asked why the sentences? Did he have to sit out? Nice manager states that Will did sit out while teacher witch blurts out that it was just for a minute, not time enough to do any good....I look at witch teacher and ask why then was I not called. I state that the daycare knows that I will be extremely swift in any discipline if it is called for. All I need is a phone call and I am all over it. Poor nice manager at this point is getting a lil more excited in her speaking letting me know why yes, they knew they could have called me and that everything was already taken care of. Bless her sweet lil heart. She did handle things well. No one was irate or crazy. All was still good. Until teacher witch opened her mouth to tell me that, "we don't have your phone number." Oh really????
I cut my eyes at her and I had had enough. I let her know right quick that she sure as hell did have my number and it's been on file for a while now. Plus I just turned in new paper work just that week updating things. I point my finger in her direction asking what she thought the point was for the sentences. The kids were acting up, fine. Kids will be disrespectful when playing around sometimes. Especially 10 yr old boys. Get on their butts, fix it and get on with it. This wasn't some Catholic or Boarding school where we whip out the rulers or write sentences. All poor nice manager could say with a more steady voice is that all was taken care of and she really was sorry for the outcome of the incident. I winked at her while saying it was OK and shot a look to teacher witch asking if "we were clear on things..." She didn't answer back and I didn't expect her to.
I went back out to the car and told Will not to worry about things. He was and it would be eating at him until he went back this morning to see if she would try and single him out and pick on him. I just told him that we would be coming in early in the morning to talk with management again to make sure that didn't happen. Under the circumstance, I thought I handled things pretty well. If it took a second time to straighten things out all bets were off. But, as it turned out we got there this morning to find out that what happened was just the last straw. She had been fired and the other workers were relieved.
As I've always thought, it takes a certain mentality to be in that field. Someone with concern, compassion, kindness and love does well and allows even kids going to a daycare to learn things needed for the future. I know this because there are such "teachers" there at this daycare. But sadly, there's always one bad one in the bunch.
As for Will not wanting to return, I told him that it never fairs well for him if he runs from problems or fears. He needed to go back and face her, do what he's suppose to do and get along to the best of his ability. If things failed on the other parties end that wasn't his fault because he tried. Running is never the answer. I know this all too well. And yes, it takes courage to do something that ur scared of doing. You don't know if it's going to turn out good or the way you want it to so why risk it. Well, risk is always a tricky little thing but on that once in a lifetime chance that it does work out? It changes your whole perception on things. This was a small lesson that hopefully Will will think more on and use as a stepping stone as far as building more self confidence. I hope so anyway;)
Comments
hughugs
Have a great weekend!
one thing about all of this-- it takes a great mom, to raise a mom like you.
you have some lucky kids . they will make some fine adults one day - and like you -- wonderful parents as well.
keep on doin what you're doin. obviously - you're doin it right.
happy weekend -