Plastic Surgery

Yes, this is a subject that is taboo but is becoming more the norm. On the other hand, people don't generally bring it up in social discussions, saving it to discuss later with close friends like it's some dirty little secret. I don't see it that way but I'm pretty open minded about a lot of taboo subjects.

I've always thought about it. After having children that is. Before that I never would have contemplated changing anything. I was fine on how I looked. And if I needed to lose or tone it was easily remedied by laying off the bad food and hitting the gym a few times a week. Now though, that isn't the case. Many of you remember me stating that with the birth of my daughter that started the bodily change I became so unhappy with. My body just refused to go through all the changes that go along with being pregnant and I found myself changing in all the ways and more a woman can. Weight gain, medical problems, emotional problems. I was going through it all.

Starting out at 108 and then ending at over 200 pounds on a 5'2" frame does some serious physical and psychological damage. How we perceive ourselves and how we think others perceive us. We can all SAY that it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks. That if they don't like what they see they don't have to look. I call bullshit on that one. Even if it is in secret, it does matter what others think. What most don't understand though is that there are some people that are more important to us than others and it's those opinions we secretly want.

As most of you know I am happily married to a wonderful man that loves me just the way I am. Oh I imagine if he had a magic wand he would change a few things about me. My obsession with chocolate when eating healthy, my weird questions that I just bust out with at the oddest moments, my dorkism..just to name a few. He tells me all the time how beautiful I am and I just melt. But, when looking in the mirror after a shower or getting ready to head out the door, I see something that he doesn't. I understand our perception of ourselves is extremely cynical compared to what others think. It's just the ways of things in my opinion. When we look at ourselves we see the imperfections that on a daily basis we think about wanting to change. Stretch marks, saggy skin and all that can't be fixed by hitting the gym 7 days a week and by eating healthy. Believe me, I've tried. So what now do I do?

Oh, I could live with it. Go with the seasons like I already do. During the summer months I look for longer shorts to cover the stretch marks on my upper legs and make sure that the shirt is long enough to where if I bend over nothing is visible. Buy bathing suits that cover my chest enough to uplift what little I have while covering my stomach to hide lose skin and stretch marks. All the while when out and about on cruises or the lake or where ever I'm always making sure things are in place so not to freak anyone out. And yes, even staying away from the camera and being the one to take the pictures and not to be in them. The winter months aren't so bad but here in Texas it's a lot hotter longer than not.

Some of you are probably shaking your heads and wondering how the hell I could discuss this about myself. Well, I can. I've always felt the need to face things I don't like or fear. It's my way of dealing. And if people want to make fun of me or think I'm stupid for doing it this way, so be it. I have a feeling as for those type people they only do that because of their own inner issues they haven't figured out yet. Shame on them for not trying.

So, plastic surgery. Anyone ever done it, thought about it or is curious like me? Me? Any work done would be minimal. I've already spoken to a local doctor this time last year about it. He says it's pretty much surface stuff that needs to be taken care of, nothing major at all. And I've taken my time in reading up on procedures, looking at pictures, articles and anything else I can find out about this stuff. To me, it's a personal choice. My choice, no one elses. If it makes me feel just a TAD bit better about myself then so be it.

Now, do I want a bunch of things done? No. I was thinking I would have to undergo a tummy tuck to fix my most worrysome area. Not at all. It would be a partial dealing only with surface skin and nothing else. Leaving behind only a small scar. As for the boob area, lol, this is still something I'm thinking about. So many problems dealing with implants and I've had a relative that had a severe time that almost killed her. I've heard that having medical problems like this is hereditary so I may just fix what I have. And while I'm having those two things done I may have a spot here or an area there cleaned up a bit. I'm not doing this to wear hooker clothes or run around acting like a wild woman. I want to be able to take my shirt off while wearing a cute 2 piece and swim with my family when they jump in the water. I want to wear shorts that are shorter then mid thigh to knee length. I want to pass by the mirror after getting out of the shower and not reach for the towel as fast as I can. Stuff like that...