Making the step into adulthood

Well, as I posted on my Facebook earlier, Ty is graduating this evening from high school. Tim and I have only been together for 2 years but what a crazy, fun and very adventurous 2 years it has been. Ty is Tim's 18 year old son. Ty was 16 when we met.

Is it when you are truly at peace and happy that time begins to speed up? By no means am I afraid of crossing over to the "other" side, I look forward to it. But, it seems while looking back on my own life that when I was struggling for whatever reason, time was at a stand still and now that I have fought my way through to finally figure, or begin to find my "happy place" that it's going so quickly. Damn.

Do you remember when you graduated high school? Any funny stories to go along with it? I remember mine like it was yesterday. 1992 and I was excited, scared and in awe. I remember while sitting in the crowd of other scared graduates, I was looking up at the ceiling and wondered, what happens now. As they called us up one by one to receive our diploma's it felt like just another school event. I was always participating in something whether it be sports, drill team or cheerleading.

So I received my diploma and started walking down the stairs only to have my high heel fly off my foot and hit the guy in the front row. Lol, I died laughing and was so embarrassed I don't even remember retrieving it and sitting down! Ah, the memories of our youth. Don't get me started. I've got PLENTY of airhead, comical memories that I imagine I will share from time to time.

I guess the point to this post is that as graduating teenagers we thought that we were adults, ready to take on anything. Oh how wrong we were. That's when real life began and the rules of our youth changed to that of adults. College, getting a job, paying for bills or more than what u were paying before. Independence in full force. As kids we so desperately wanted to grow up and be on our own. With both Ty and my daughter Sam we've heard all of what came out of our mouths all those years ago and then you stop and smile. Knowing just what your parents were talking about when they said, "one day you'll understand too." Well, we do now.

But, the difference between myself and Ty is that he has a solid plan of what he wants to do. At least for the next 4 years of being that independent adult he wanted to be. He's going to the Air Force. He made the choice all on his own. Me? I didn't have a clue what I wanted. Of coarse, I started college right after. A 2 year community college but soon afterwards got bored with taking basics and stepped out into the work force instead. Only years later did I go back and actually graduate from college. It took me ten years to finally figure out what direction I wanted my life to go from the day I graduated high school. I'm so glad Ty thought about it and did something about it. I think he'll have a much easier time and he won't deal with the "lost" feeling I felt.

Sam and I went shopping for her a little dress yesterday for the graduation thing tonight. She just loves shopping at Cavender's and when we went to check out she busted out asking the cashier, "How old do you have to be to work here?" I turned and looked at my daughter. At almost half an inch taller than myself, Sam just looked different in my eyes. When going through something like this, maybe some kind of weird reality check, you automatically reflect on a past moment of your child. A flash of her running around with pigtails, a red dress and red shiny boots came to mind. She was about 5 then. Add ten years and your wondering where the hell all the time in between went.

The cashier gave her a application. Sam found out that she needed to be at least 16 to apply and work there. I let her go ahead and accept it. Her birthday isn't until February. 8 more months until she can legally work. 8 more months until she takes another step up the ladder to adulthood. I could have made her wait. Could have said no to her getting an application. But, why? She is showing, on her own, the initiative to work. Why would I say no and discourage that?

As we got in the car to leave I told her she needed to start a folder for job hunting. As she came up with places she would like to work at when she is of age she could go ahead and pick up job applications to fill out and file away as we passed by the place or actually went in to the business for other things. That way when she does turn 16 all we have to do is drop them off. No piling into the car at the last minute or when there's 50 million other things that we could be doing and going all over the city in search of a job. I told her that even if they aren't hiring to turn one in. She liked the idea very much;o)

As a parent and as you all well know, WE are the bad guys. Stomping all the fun, making life a living hell and anything else the kids can dream up for us. When I see mine or anyone else's kid show some kind of initiative to become more than what they were I will never discourage them. If I do, they will get discouraged...and they'll quit. Life is hard enough as an adult. It's getting extremely difficult being a teen or young adult. And, I imagine it will be that much more harder for William who will be 11 shortly. I now understand all those years ago driving with my own mom on a back road in my hometown when she made the comment, "I really feel for your kids when they grow up." Yeah, I agree mom and can only imagine how it will be for their Lil ones one day.